What’s the worst feeling I’ve ever felt?
You know that moment when your friends are talking to each other and you come to them end try to join their conversation but they ignore you and keep talking?
Yeah, that is the worst. And I just experienced it today.
It was just another moment. We were about to go to the next class—art class. Each of us has chosen different type of art class, there’s music, painting, choir, theater, traditional dance, and gamelan. I’m in gamelan class, so I went to the auditorium. My friends who join the same class as me were already there.
As a nerd, I always brought a book wherever I go. This time, it was Zoella’s Girl Online. As the other group played gamelan, I would sit there among my friends, reading the book in silence.
When it was my group’s turn, all of my friends who were in the same group as me went to play, without telling me that it was our turn to play. So, I just sat there, keep reading.
“Don’t you join the group?” asked a teacher, when she came to visit the auditorium.
The realization smacked my face and I felt my face blushed really red. “I—uh, I’m truly sorry, Ma’am. I was too busy reading.”
“Put down your book, and go play there,” she snapped, and walked away.
I went mad and I spoke louder. “None of them tell me that it was my group’s turn to play.”
She stopped walking and turned around, looking at me in anger. “Well, then. Maybe you should learn to socialize with humans, Miss Anthony.”
I stood there, completely frozen, while the others laughed at me. I braved myself and I went to my place and I sat down. “Why didn’t you remind me?” I hissed to the girl beside me.
She didn’t look at me in the eyes. “Oh, I think I hear someone talking, but who? There’s no one beside me.”
That was the time when I realized that all of them pretend that I never been born and never existed.
Okay, maybe God of Invisible loves me, so He makes me completely like that. Or maybe the world is full of ignorant bitches.
[I am not afraid to say that word. Sometimes you have to be brave and stand up for what you believe in. But if that word offends you, I am truly sorry.]
Like I write on my profile, I am no one in this world. I am just a small town kid, 15-year-old teenager who spend her time mostly surfing the internet. I am not famous. But at least, I need respect for being a human, for being who I am.
I’m still trying to figure out my place in this world. And maybe, those friends don’t suit me. Or maybe I don’t suit them because I feel uncomfortable when I’m among them, being an invisikble Pris with her books.
I must tell you that I am really bad at socializing with people, especially strangers. I’m not that type of person who start the conversation first, who talk about a lot of things non-stop, and try to keep the convo last longer.
I am that person who wait until you start the conversation first. I am that one who will answer as polite and as short as I can. I always try to be a nice polite stranger, because everytime I meet someone, I feel like I’m invisible to them.
One advice: if you have that one friend who always sit on the corner, reading a book or compelety alone and drown with his/her thoughts, start a conversation. Make him/her feels like he/she is not invisible in your eyes, make him/her feels respected. Ask anything you want.
One day, you’ll get the quest of the nice things you’ve done to that person. Remember that from this day forward.
I just want to share my thoughts with the world, and why not? If people respect each other, treat each other well, being nice and polite, the world would be so much better than present. I’m dreaming that time when I see kids nice to each other, not being ‘picky’ at friends. And it really warms my heart if that really happens nowadays.
Okay, that’s all I have for you guys today. I shall write more often in my free time.
Let me know in the comments below: what does the word ‘invisible’ means to you? Have you experienced the same moment like me? I need help too on overcoming my ‘introvert’ self. If you know some advices, let me know and share it with the online world!
P.S: You know, FINALLY I MANAGE TO WRITE POSTS FROM MY PHONE. I know this is a simple thing to talk about but I FIND A WAY TO GET ME CLOSER TO MY READERS OUT THERE. KNOW THIS THAT I LOVE YOU ALL xx