96. Friendly Reminder

I know it’s exhausting.

I know it’s hard.

The mask and facade you put on each day? It’s full of struggles.

Every time you want to ask someone for help, but you don’t want them to worry about you because they have plenty problems of their own.

Standing in front of mirror and wondering,

“Am I worth it?”

“What’s the point anymore?”

No one cares.”

Every single one of you deserves the world.

I care about all of you.

I won’t judge you for your religion, race, gender, sexuality. 

I know it’s hard to smile everyday.

I know it’s hard to wake up in the morning and find something.

“Dying people need a reason to wake up in the morning,

or else they wouldn’t.

There’s a reason you’re here.

I know it’s not easy to go down this path,

but know this: you’re not alone. 

Trying to keep your head above the water can be hard,

but you can do it.

I want you to know

that I’m still here

because of you;

because of the people

that I love,

and love me too.

I want to be the reason you’re still here.

I want to see that smile of yours become real and hopeful.

There is a happy ending for you, but you just have to wait a lil’ longer and hold onto hope.

I want you to know,

that you are beautiful, amazing, and worth it.

Don’t let others push you down.

To those trans kids who have been targeted,

I love you for who you are.

I’m happy that you’re trying to make yourself

feel comfortable.

No one deserves to be hated

for things like

gender, religion, race, sexuality, etc.

“Love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love is love,

cannot be killed or swept aside.”

Lin-Manuel Miranda

I hope you will continue

to fight and embrace

whatever life throws at you

with open arms.


95. It Gets Worse.

Tonight, I realize one true thing;

I am surviving on a broken wing.

It’s like swimming with a tank full of sharks,

not ashamed that only I see the marks.

It’s like someone throwing many darts,

went around them, and straight to my heart.

One side of me says, “It’s your fault,”

while the other says, “Take a step back, hault.”

I will still dream at this slate in time,

fully awake as I commit my crime.

When all the straight paths have come to an end,

it can only mean a curve or a bend.

I can’t compete with myself anymore,

there I am headed, going out the door.


94. 16 Things I Learned in 2016

  1. School is important, but definitely not more important than your mental health. Take care of yourself.
  2. You cannot force anyone to stay in your life. If they want to leave, let them.
  3. It’s okay not to be okay. It’s okay to let yourself feel all the things you need to feel. It’s okay to be hurt and cry, but you can’t stay there forever. At some point you have to pick yourself up and keep going.
  4. Time doesn’t stop. Tomorrow is not promised to anyone. Make the most of every moment and cherish it.
  5. Appreciate the little things in life. Appreciate the beautiful rainbows after a day full of rain, the small gust of wind on a hot day and the magnificent sunsets we get to experience everyday. The little things are what matter the most.
  6. The extra slice of pie will not kill you. It will not make you gain 10 pounds; go ahead and eat it!
  7. Take lots and lots of pictures. The memories don’t change, even when people in them do.
  8. Don’t let anyone stop you from doing what you love. If you want something, go get it. Never stop fighting for what you want and what you love.
  9. We cannot always control what happens, but we can always control our reaction to it.
  10. Peopl on the internet aren’t always bad; many of them are nice, really nice. Go make some internet mutuals, they could be the best friends you’ve ever had.
  11. The future is frightening to think about, but don’t let your fear of the future stop you from experiencing life.
  12. Don’t let what your parents want make you feel obligated to set aside what you really want just to please them. They’ll learn to accept the decisions you make if you are happy because that’s all they ever want for us; they just want to see us happy.
  13. There’ll be times when you feel like you can’t go on, but trust me; you are a lot stronger and tougher than you think. You can get through it, I believe in you.
  14. You can find many new friendships and relationships when you least expect it. Let yourself be open to it.
  15. Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind.
  16. Everyday is a new opportunity at a fresh start, and a chance to make a positive difference in this world.

Goodbye old me, hello new me.

I have to admit, 2016 was a pretty rough year for me. I experienced good and bad things; mostly the bad ones. But here I am, still alive in 2017.

I hope you have an incredible and fantastic moments in 2017. Do what you want and love, be the person you want to be, pursue what you want to pursue. It is time for you to step out of your comfort zone and shine like a star. This year is yours, so make it count.

(Also, sorry for the lack of blog updates, school sucks, I don’t really have time to sit down and write anymore. But, I will try my best to keep this blog alive. And also, I might film a new video by the end of this week, and it’s a haul video again because Lord knows I spent my money buying fandom merchs from an anime festival, so stay tuned xx.)

Stay alive, friends.

93. My First Haul Video

This post is totally out of schedule, but I just want to let you know that I made a video!

It’s basically just a video of me rambling about my favorite stuffs for 13 MINUTES, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? And also, I’m sorry if I sounded weird because I can’t speak English fluently and stuffs. (my face also looks weird).

Let me know if you enjoy the video or not, and also let me know if you want another video like this or not! I worked pretty hard on this one, and I’m pretty satisfied with it. And also, subscribe to me if you want to, hehe.



92. [kree-ey-ter]

This is just another post where I rant about specific topic from the beginning until the end of this post, so if you don’t want to read it, it’s okay I understand.

I was bored the other day, literally didn’t do anything for the whole day, so I spent my time reading my old posts on this blog. I read every single one of them, from the first post until the last post, and I could see big difference on them. I can’t explain the difference, but I know that they’re completely different, as if the writer of those posts is a different person, which is not because I’m the one who wrote them all.

I used to love create things, I used to love being creative.

Now I’m here just like being unproductive, don’t have the motivation to live anymore, don’t really have hope for the future, and write posts to promote companies. I mean, it’s pretty amazing, I have to admit, like, being asked personally by the digital marketing manager of Warby Parker to promote their latest collection (which is WPxTO)? It’s the coolest thing that ever happened in my life, and not even my friends get that opportunity, which I’m really grateful for.

Fast forward to today, this very exact day.

For the first time since, I don’t know, forever (?), I’m feeling creative. A bit.

I decided to watch a few of Connor Franta’s videos to ‘fan’ that creative spark into a flame, since he’s the most creative person I’ve ever known in my life. As you know, I adore Connor Franta, and I’ve talked about him a lot in my previous posts.

Anyway, one of his videos that I watched is the one where he talked about his Common Culture stuffs, or I could say it’s a Common Culture haul video, and it’s 11 minutes long.

If you didn’t know, Common Culture is a lifestyle brand that Connor himself created in 2014, and it offers clothing, music, and coffee, and that brand really represents Connor. The clothing line is really good; it offers high-standard clothing, and the music compilations are so. dang. good.

In this video, he rambled on about how he created Common Culture and how he put all of his heart on that project. He then showed all of the CC products and I could see sparks in his eyes when he talked about his own brand, like the way he passionately talked about it and the way he saw and held every single products that he designed all by himself. Ugh, I’m just living for it.

Okay, let’s change the topic a lil’ bit different.

There are so many creators in this world. For me, a creator is a person who makes something new that no one ever established, that person creates a thing that never existed before. And, yes, there are so many types of creator in this world. For me:

  • Authors are creators, because they make a whole new alternate universe for their characters (which they created).
  • Songwriters are creators, because they create melodies, arrange keys and notes, write down the lyrics, and put them together until it becomes a song, even if it’s just a simple song.
  • Vloggers are creators, because they create skits, videos, put all of their efforts into their videos.
  • Designers are creators, because they design new kind of clothing that no one ever see before.
  • Bloggers are creators, because they write different posts every single day, and boi, it’s such a tiring thing to do and it needs creativity.
  • and many more.

There are so many creators in this world. I, as a blogger, identify myself as one of them, and probably you’re a creator, too.

As a creator, I feel like creating new stuffs is my job, it’s in my veins. I personally always want to create new things that no one ever made, I want to create a thing and make the world proud of what I have made. Creating things is fun, and I think every creator feels that feeling too.

As creators, we create things. And of course, every creation has its flaws; nothing’s perfect. So, we re-evaluate our mistakes, re-evaluate the flaws, and create another new thing that’s better than the previous creation. This could means anything; you create clothes, and if it’s not good enough for you and and consumers, you release another clothing that’s way better than the ugly one. The process goes on and on, and we’ll never get tired of it, because that’s the fun part. We learn from our mistakes, and then we keep going forward with another new creation.

I, as a creator, want to create things like other creators do. Connor Franta, Troye Sivan, Tyler Oakley, and other successful people are creators, and I want to do same thing like they did.

People say that I’m too young to do that, to create things. They say I still have to wait until I’m old enough to actually accomplish my dream, to do the things that I want to do as a creator. At this point, I’m pretty upset because they’re like underestimating me, but deep down in my heart I know why they said that: because they are not creators. They don’t understand.

I don’t know. I just want to ramble about this whole ‘creator’ thing. For the past few days I feel like I want to create my own brand like the way Connor created Common Culture, I’m really inspired by it. And lately I realized that all of my creations are untouchable; stories, poems, videos, posts, songs, etc. It’s just.. I want to create something that I can touch, that I can hold and show it off to other people, keep beaming about it because it’s my own brand and creation.

Yeah, the struggle is real.

That’s all I have for you today, sorry if this post is a bit off-schedule. This was meant to get posted yesterday but my Wi-Fi somehow ‘rebelled’ and couldn’t connect to my laptop which is where I write stuffs.

Anyway, it’s December 24th here, and it means it’s Christmas Eve.

Have a f(r)antastic Christmas, y’all. May this year’s Christmas brings joy to you all, I love you.


91. 10 Date Night Ideas | Turo


Today I’m in the mood to talk about: love.

Yeah, I know the title of this post said “Date Night Ideas”, we’ll get to that later. But now, let’s talk about this little thing called love.

Love is complicated, a truth so loud you can’t ignore. Anyone who has felt it will tell you the same thing. You never see it coming, until BOOM, it smacks you right in the face. Love is also unpredictable, capable of striking from any direction.

I don’t really get what love means, but I like the feeling of it.

Let’s step a bit further and talk about: relationships.

According to Connor Franta, relationships are fire; they’re about chemistry. No spark, no go. Once you find someone you find pleasing , you pursue that person. If you discover that you also enjoy that person’s personality, you move to dating. If you’re lucky enough for that to go well, you take it a step further and make it official.

These three basic steps sound simple and easy to do, but if you’ve ever made a real attempt at them, you’ll find otherwise. Love is hard, friend; really hard.

One of the many things to make a relationship last long is from dates. If you don’t have ideas for your date with your special one, I’m going to list a few of perfect date night ideas, and I’m sorry if they don’t sound really great because I’ve never been in a relationship (lmao).

1. Simple dinner

You can set up dinner with your special one, it could be anywhere; at fancy restaurants, or cafes, or maybe at your place! You can order food (Indian, Chinese, whatever) and talk to that person and get to know each other a little bit more.

2. Netflix night

Yes, you can have a movie night with your special one. Just let that person pick a movie (or a TV series), and then you two can watch it together, or maybe fangirl together with each other. I suggest you not to pick horror movies, because you know, it won’t be romantic for you two. Besides, it’s called ‘date night’, not ‘creepy night’.

3. Go out for movies

Well, if you’re bored with Netflix and want to watch new movies, you two can go to the local cinema and watch new movies together there. It’d be fun, though.

4. Go on a camp together

If your special one has this ‘adventurer’ vibe, then I think go out on a camp would be the perfect date night for you two. You can sleep next to each other under the sky, watching the stars above you two and naming every single one of them, and talk to each other literally about anything.

5. Game night!

If your special one is a gaming person, well then, I think it’d be perfect for you two to prepare yourself and have a gaming night. You could play anything; Just Dance, FNAF, Sims, literally anything. Or if you’re a traditional person, you could play board games.

6. Go to the pubs

I don’t really recommend this, but if you don’t go to a local pub, where’s the fun though? Also, you must be legal to purchase and consume alcohol. And also, don’t do drugs.

7. See live music performances/concerts

I really recommend this one, because who wouldn’t want to get accompanied by their loved ones to a concert? You can go to your local cafes to see live music performances, or if you want to see concerts, I suggest you to go to Troye Sivan’s concerts because they are lit.

8. Jam to favorite tunes

You two can share each other’s favorite playlists, and maybe listen to a few songs. Jamming to favorite songs with your loved one will be an unforgettable moment. Or maybe you can dance with each other to slow songs, it’d be so cheesy and romantic.

9. Go on a roadtrip

Drop everything, and run away together with your loved one to somewhere you two only know. Go on a roadtrip would be a fun thing to do, and maybe if you’re too lazy to use your own car because of something, this is when Turo comes in handy. Turo is a new peer-to-peer car-sharing company (like car renting, but better) from San Francisco.If you live in the US make sure you check out Turo, you never know someone might be renting out your dream car.

10. Cuddle

This is the last option: cuddle. There’s nothing feels better than being in your loved one’s arms, being comfy and cuddling with that person until you’re asleep.

Protip: whether you like it or not, you have to ignore your phone when you’re with your date. that person deserves your undivided attention. if you don’t give it, that person can’t be that special to you. it’s best for you to hang out with the person you’re texting instead.

Yeah, I think that’s all! Let me know in the comment below: what’s your perfect date night idea?

See you on the next post!

Stay alive, friend.

this post is written for Turo, a company that operates a peer-to-peer carsharing marketplace.

90. Warby Parker x Tyler Oakley


I hope everyone had a good time this week. Once again, I’m sorry if my blogging schedule is a bit messed up for the past weeks, because I am really busy at the moment studying and preparing stuffs for Christmas.

For this week’s post, I want to talk about my favorite person, my role model, my bae; the one and only Tyler Oakley.

If you’re here since the beginning of this blog, you must’ve known that I really loved to talk about Tyler. He’s one of my favorite YouTubers, he’s funny, creative, has good sense of humor, and stuffs. I could talk and ramble on about him for hours, he’s just too good for this world.

Fun fact: I have watched all of his videos on YouTube (there are more than 400 videos on his channel, it’s such an achievement for him), and there’s this one particular type of his videos that I like: P.O. Box videos. Basically, Tyler would go through all of his P.O. Box packages and they were mostly from his fans. And I remember on one of his P.O. Box videos, he received a package and it was from Warby Parker.

That time, I didn’t know about Warby Parker, and never heard about it. If you live in the United States, then you must’ve heard the name ‘Warby Parker’. Warby Parker is an American brand off prescription eyeglasses and sunglasses.

In one of Tyler’s P.O. Box videos, I remember he rambled about how much he loved Warby Parker and the glasses designs. And, I have to admit that all of the designs are so artistic and beautiful, and I secretly want to have one of those eyeglasses frame. But I live in Indonesia, and unfortunately Warby Parker doesn’t ship internationally.

Fast forward a few years later after the P.O. Box videos.

Last November, I heard the news that Tyler started a collaboration with Warby Parker! At first I thought he had a video collaboration with Warby Parker, but no. He has a collaboration with Warby Parker, and by ‘collaboration’ he means he basically has his own glasses designs with his signature with Warby Parker. And it overwhelms me.

“I am thrilled to announce my first eyewear collection and can’t wait to bring my signature style to the Warby Parker customer. I’ve been wearing glasses since elementary school, and I finally get to design frames that I’ve always wanted to wear. Warby Parker has always been my go-to for affordable, high quality eyewear, and being able to express myself through this partnership is super exciting,” says Tyler Oakley.

WPxTO is a collection of best-selling styles updated in a graphic palette of black hues mixed with pops of contrast tones. Included with each pair of frames is a limited edition eyewear case, plus one of three custom black-and-white lens cloths created just for the collaboration. Inspired by traditional menswear patterns (and Tyler’s own mood boards), the lens cloths—which can double as pocket squares—come in windowpane check, chalk stripe, and polka dot motifs.


If I had to pick, it’s either the Wilder jet black matte OR Downing jet black matte, but honestly I am living for all six designs from this collection.

Glasses are usually so expensive, so Warby Parker probably can be your favorite brand, because they’re:

  1. $95 each;
  2. every time you buy a pair, they give a pair away to someone who needs them;
  3. they provide this ‘home try-on‘ thing; where you pick five glasses online, they send them to you for free, and then you pick up which one you want, then you send them back, and finally they will send you your final pair.

If you’re a U.S. resident, and you’re looking to freshen up your image or want to buy eyeglasses frame, then I think Warby Parker is the right solution for you!

Which pair will you be picking up? Which one is your favorite frame? Will you buy it? Let me (and Tyler) know in the comments below!

*all images were provided by Warby Parker